


Villains of Circumstance

by sappy_spirit41



Category: Josh Homme - Fandom, Kyuss, Queens of the Stone Age
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-23
Updated: 2017-12-09
Packaged: 2018-12-18 21:00:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11882745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sappy_spirit41/pseuds/sappy_spirit41
Summary: Inspired by QOTSA's "The Way You Used to Do" video and the "Villains Board Room Meeting".Josh Homme makes a deal with the Devil and faces dire consequences.





	1. Chapter 1

Joshua knew what he was getting himself into when he finally made it to the underworld. He didn't know, however, what he would have to pull himself out of.

The Devil was a strange little man, not much taller than Josh himself. He was less of an ultimate evil and more of a trickster. Josh found it hard to focus during their meeting.

Instead of the traditional flames of Hell with the Devil atop a throne, Josh met him in a boardroom. The Devil wore a suit - red, of course. Josh felt underdressed in his button-down shirt, pressed jeans, and boots.

"I'd like to make you an offer," Joshua said hesitantly.

The Devil grinned, flashing his pearly white fangs. "I have a feeling that I know what you want, Mr. Homme."

"Well..." Josh gulped and fanned himself. It was a little hot in here. "I'd like to request... total fame and power for my band, Queens of the Stone Age."

Satan raised an eyebrow. "Why would you want that? Seems a bit selfish, don't you think?"

Josh nodded. "Me and my bandmates have assessed the pros and cons, and the pros outweigh the cons. I mean, total fame, power, and recognition at the cost of maybe, uh, a human soul? Totally worth it, right?"

The Devil rolled his eyes. "Right."

He dug a contract out from under his desk with a feather pen and a needle and slid it across the table. Josh eagerly dipped the pen in ink and began scribbling his signature, but the Devil stopped him.

"Aren't you gonna read this?" he asked Josh.

Josh tapped the white feather against his cheek. "I don't have to. It leaked online."

The Devil rolled his eyes again. This time he felt them go back into his brain.

Josh finished the swoop on his last name and put the pen down. The Devil grabbed his finger and pricked it, causing Josh to wince.

"Ow! What the hell was that for?" Josh cried out in pain.

"Just smear your finger next to your signature," the Devil said through gritted teeth. Josh did what he was told, then immediately stuck his bloody finger into his mouth to soothe the pain.

The Devil laughed and picked up the contract. "So this means I get the right to your soul, and a torture of my choice-"

"I don't have a soul," Josh piped up.

"You don't have a soul?"

Josh nodded and pointed to his head.

"...Right. Anyway..." Lucifer pulled out a laptop and began typing. He finally found what he was looking for and pulled it up on a projector screen behind him to show Josh.

Josh's eyes lit up as he saw the projected image. It was of himself, but from when he was much younger. Maybe from about twenty years ago.

"From the raw data of every Queens of the Stone Age album, I have compiled personalities and put them into physical form. There are eight copies of yourself that exist, and I've put them all into one place. Joshua Homme, your punishment is to live with yourself... in eight versions."

\-----

Josh's temporary home with the eight clones of himself was quite nice. It was beachfront property, with large windows and two stories. He could see himself living here without the clones.

When he walked in, the familiar stench of marijuana assaulted his nostrils. He hadn't smelled that in a good minute. At the dinner table, two of the clones were sitting and smoking. One had short ginger hair with blonde stripes and the other had longer ginger hair.

"Oh, hey..." the longer-haired Josh said. "We've been expecting you. Want a smoke?"

Josh shook his head. "No thank you."

"A-are you sure?" the shorter-haired one asked.

"Yeah, I'm sure. But thank you." Josh sat down at the table with the two clones. "So, uh..."

He scratched his head and sighed. He didn't know how to properly and formally address clones of himself.

He looked closer at their outfits. The shorter-haired clone was wearing a black sweatshirt with a pocket on the breast. The pocket had the letter R stitched into it.

"Okay, I can call you R," he said softly to himself.

He turned to the other boy, who had begun rolling another blunt. He was wearing an orange tank top with bright pink Mardi Gras beads. He also had a pair of tortoiseshell reading glasses on top of his head.

"I had some like those back in '98." Josh smiled at the memory. In hindsight, he probably looked like such an idiot, but back then, he thought he was the shit. "And you'll be ST, for self-titled."

ST pulled his head up. "You say somethin'?"

R raised his eyebrows and looked around. "Huh? What?"

"Nothing," Josh said quickly. "What's it like, uh, being...yourselves?"

"Scary. Sometimes the phone rings and nobody's on the other end." R put his head down on the table.

"It's alright. We get to smoke as much as we want, and nothing bad happens." ST began coughing violently. "Couldn't be better," he choked.

"Okay... where's the restroom?" Josh asked the clones. He'd barely been here five minutes and already felt like he needed a breather.

R pointed his thumb to the right without lifting his head. "Down that hall. First door on the left. I think..."

Josh stood up and headed that way. As soon as he left, R pulled his head up quickly, looking terrified.

"Oh my God..." R whispered. "I think I sent him the wrong way."

ST reached out an arm to comfort him. "If he's anything like us, he'll figure it out." He extended his arm around R to light his blunt.

\-----

The hallways were a nice ocean blue shade with a white stripe down the center. Each of the doors was painted with a different design. Josh assumed that the black door at the left was the bathroom, just like R had said. To his dismay, it was not.

It was a bedroom set up like a funeral parlor. All the walls were black, and instead of a bed, there was a coffin with blankets and pillows in it. The walls were covered in strange artwork and existential scrawlings done in red paint. A man wearing a black cape sat in the bed, writing.

" _Most of what you see, my dear, is..._ " the man read softly in a butchered British accent.

Josh slowly walked into the room, confused by its macabre decor. "I don't think this is the bathroom..."

The man in the cape frantically closed his journal and grinned a pained smile up at Josh. "Of course not. This is my chamber! And you would be... Joshua, yes?"

"Yeah. Nice to meet you. But where  _is_ the bathroom?"

"It's the door next to this one," the caped man said. "But before you go, would you like to critique my poetry?"

Josh shrugged. "I don't see why not."

The man passed him the notebook and he began reading. " _Rose- tinted eyes/Color my sorrows a shade of wine_... this is beautiful, uh..."

Josh frantically looked around to see what kind of nickname he could give this clone. He directed his eyes to the clock brooch that kept up the man's cape.

"...Clockwork! This is beautiful, Clockwork, but what does it mean, exactly?" Josh asked, handing Clockwork his notebook back.

"I... don't know..." Clockwork said, sinking face down into his coffin bed and pulling his cape down to cover his legs. Josh looked down at the strange caped man and slipped out of the room.

 _The door next to this one,_ Josh thought to himself, swinging open a magenta door. A man stood in the mirror, applying eyeliner. The sound of the door opening caused him to jump.

"Oh my God," he began, turning around slowly to face Josh. "Twenty minutes spent perfecting this...  _for nothing!_ " The man aggressively gestured to his eye, which was now streaked with black eyeliner.

Josh exhaled deeply. "Sorry to... interrupt?"

The man with the eyeliner sighed dramatically and began cleaning the excess makeup off. "Some things just aren't meant to be. Such as my eyeliner."

Josh backed out of the room and tried to remember which "Josh" this was. He had worn eyeliner for some of the music videos for  _Era Vulgaris..._ Era! That would be a perfect nickname for this guy. Josh closed the door to the bathroom and left Era in peace.

As he walked back into the living room, he began counting on his fingers. Era, Clockwork, ST, and R. He figured there was at least one more clone of him, but he wasn't sure. He already felt like he was losing his damn mind; he was practically looking at himself at all times. These clones were like mirrors of what he used to be, but more exaggerated and dramatic. He began to wonder if he was really as...eccentric as these bastardized, homemade versions of himself were.

On the couch sat a teenage boy, with long red hair and a red baseball cap on backwards. He was sitting scrunched up on the far left. Josh turned to the right and saw R and ST kissing.

"Kissing" was a term used lightly. To say they were kissing would be equating them to two kindergartners who had little crushes on each other. No, they were taking up the entire right side of the couch and were physically on top of each other in what looked like the most uncomfortable and unsatisfying positions. ST had his long legs wrapped around R's torso, and R had his arms wrapped around ST practically twice. Josh had seen some weird things in his life, but essentially watching himself make out with himself was uncomfortable to say the least.

ST pulled his head up, his glasses dangling off his face. "Oh, hey Josh. Did you find the bathroom?"

"I'm sorry if I sent you to the wrong place," R said softly as ST began touching his face. "Stop squishing my cheeks!"

ST grinned. "You have a cute face, I can't help it!"

The boy on the left rolled his eyes and looked up at Josh. "They're always doing this. It's so weird."

Josh crossed his arms and sat down next to the boy. "Always?"

"They've been stuck in the honeymoon phase for, like, a year now! It's icky!"

Josh smirked. He knew a thing or two about being so in love that you looked ridiculous, but he tried to curb his enthusiasm when he could. "They're just young. Hopefully they'll grow out of it."

"They better! I never get any sleep because of them!" The boy pouted and pulled his hat off to fiddle with it. "When I think everything's quiet, I hear this noise from their room."

"What does it sound like?"

The boy put his hands together and began clapping them, trying to emulate the sound. "Like this, kinda. But faster and louder, and... kinda moist, too. They're always giving each other high-fives at three in the morning!"

Josh started to snicker. This boy's innocence was so cute, but also a bit worrying. He was probably sixteen at the youngest, and when Josh was sixteen, he remembered doing all kinds of icky things with girls (and guys sometimes, he didn't discriminate). Maybe this kid wasn't really his clone and was just a lost child who coincidentally looked just like he did way back then. Josh decided he'd call this kid Kyuss - after his high school band, of course.

Kyuss glared at Josh. "What's so funny? They keep giving each other high-fives. And sometimes I see these weird little bites all over their necks."

"Must be from spiders," Josh said without hesitation.

"Yeah. Pretty big spiders in California. Do you think it would be smart to sleep with a scarf?" Kyuss asked.

Josh tried to hide his growing smile. "Absolutely."

Josh drummed his fingers on the couch cushion, thinking of something to do. He was bored out of his mind, but at least now he knew what to expect from this house Satan had dropped him in. He gave ST and R (who were still on top of each other) the side eye, then got up and headed down the blue hallway.

The sound of arguing brought him further down the hall to a maroon door.

"You never respect anything in this house!" a muffled voice yelled.

"Well, maybe if you weren't such a bitch, this wouldn't have happened!" another voice replied.

Josh quietly opened the door to see the last two clones arguing. One had longish hair and the other had spiky hair, and they were both nose-to-nose in an argument. The spiky-haired one had a cigarette that he kept aggressively puffing on.

"What's...goin' on?" Josh asked, leaning further into the room.

"Oh, just a bit of friendly discussion," the longer-haired one muttered sarcastically. He gestured to the clone he'd been arguing with. "I trusted him to house sit and guess what he does!"

Josh tapped a finger to his chin, pretending to be in deep thought.  _What would another Josh do?_ "Ah. He threw a wild house party?"

The longer-haired man nodded. Josh decided he'd call this guy Lull because this conversation was lulling him to sleep.

""He let one of his stupid junkie friends into my room and look what happened!" Lull held up a ceramic figurine of... something. Josh couldn't tell what it was; all he knew was that the head of it was smashed clean off, almost like it had been struck with a baseball bat.

"What can I say?" the spiky-haired man said, shrugging. Josh decided to call him Deaf because this argument made him wish he was deaf.

Deaf flicked his cigarette onto the carpet and ashed it with the toe of his boot. "I'm sorry that we know how to party around here," he said mockingly, poking Lull in the chest.

"You're a bad impression on Kyuss," Lull growled.

Deaf threw up his hands, speechless at the thought of him being anything negative. "The kid is sixteen! He's practically grown!"

Josh nodded in agreement, but just a bit. He began to wish he had been coddled and sheltered at sixteen, but if he had been, then so many things would be dramatically different. So many things.

"I just don't want him ending up like you or me. Or like anyone else in this stupid house!" Lull shouted. He began stomping out of the room, fuming. Josh watched and slowly backed out alongside him.

Essentially, Josh was surrounded by himself at all times, but he felt out of place. Maybe it was because he felt he had no odd tendencies like all of the clones did. Making a selfish deal to the Devil was pretty odd, Josh thought to himself, but he wasn't like these people. He didn't smoke anymore, he didn't write depressing poetry, he didn't wear makeup, he didn't collect trinkets for his friends to break...

He took a deep breath. Barely an hour into this new life and he already wanted out. He stepped out onto the back porch and slumped against the wall. Dealing with himself was hard. It made him wonder how everyone around him had felt for the past twenty years or so.

"I hope you don't mind me stepping out with you..." an accented voice said from behind. Josh turned around. It was Clockwork.  _Oh lord,_ Josh thought as he braced for impact.  _This guy is gonna give my depression depression._

Clockwork leaned up against the wall with Josh and smiled a shy smile. "I can sense you've been feeling... strange here?"

Josh nodded. "It's kinda weird, being surrounded by yourself."

Clockwork dug around in his pocket. "I concur. Would you like a cig?"

Josh took one without thinking and stuck it in his mouth unlit. He didn't care for the nicotine anymore, but he wanted to look cool. He wanted to at least look like he was doing something he'd been known to do.

A few minutes passed of awkward silence between them. Josh could hear Clockwork exhaling his cigarette smoke and saw him trying to blow smoke rings. He wasn't any good at it, but Josh smiled at the effort.

"Lovely day outside," Clockwork said, beginning to pull off his cape. "It's a bit too hot for this."

Josh slid his back down the wall and sat down. Clockwork joined, and Josh noticed that the man was wearing a knee brace.

"What'd you do, man?" Josh asked, gesturing to the knee.

Clockwork took his cigarette between two fingers. "Quite a funny story, actually. I was at home here, but Deaf had thrown some massive party. I'm not a socialite, but I decided to have a little fun. A little too much fun. I probably drank way too much and fell on something that messed up my knee. At least, that's what I found out."

Josh's eyes lit up and he put his face on his palm. He was beginning to detest Clockwork less and less.

"I had a surgery on it, but... It killed me. I was dead on the operating table for... oh, five minutes?" Clockwork ran a hand through his short hair. "It was enough time to really reflect on my life. When I woke up, I felt so strange."

"Yeah, a brush with death will do that to ya."

Clockwork crossed his legs, wincing as he moved his bad knee. "It's depressing. You get to see what it's like on the other side..." He looked like he was about to cry.

Josh leaned over to hug Clockwork. "It's funny, actually. I went through something really similar. Almost identical."

"Really?"

Josh grinned. "Yeah, man... you're a clone of me, after all."

Clockwork stretched his bad leg out. "Ah, yes. I suppose I am." He chuckled a bit, wiping away the tears that still lingered in his blue eyes.

"I think out of all of the guys in there, you're probably the most normal," Josh said.

Clockwork shook his head. "They don't seem to think so."

"They all seem like assholes, anyway," Josh replied, giving Clockwork a bigger hug.

\-----

Josh woke up to the screen door sliding open. He looked up sleepily to see Deaf's face.

"Oh, hey Deaf," Josh said. He looked down and saw that Clockwork had been sleeping... Near him? Under him? On top of him?  _Shit,_ Josh thought to himself, biting his lip. The unlit cigarette still laid between two of his fingers.

"What the hell were you two homos doing?" Deaf screamed.

Clockwork woke up, startled by the yelling. "Oh, word?" he whispered sleepily.

"'Oh word' my ass," Deaf growled. "Were you two having sex out here?"

Josh furrowed his brow. "No, we were just talking and then... I guess we fell asleep?" At least that's what he was hoping. He hoped he didn't have sex with a clone of himself - that would be cheating on Brody. Wouldn't it?  _Nah,_ he thought to himself reassuringly.  _It's called loving yourself. Or fucking yourself._

Deaf rolled his eyes and bit down hard onto his cigarette. "Whatever. I don't care what you did or didn't do, just get your asses back inside."

When Josh and Clockwork got back inside, Lull had sat everyone down at the table.

"Josh! Clockwork! I'm glad you two could make it to our family meeting." Lull smiled and pointed to two unoccupied seats. "Please, take a seat."

Lull continued his talk as Josh and Clockwork took their seats across from ST, who was sitting on R's lap and playing with his hair.

"As you all know, this house has been chaos lately. I've had things broken, I've smelled a lot of marijuana lately, and  _certain people_ can't keep their hands to themselves." Lull glared at ST, who began blushing.

"So what?" Deaf scoffed, taking a sip of the beer he'd been holding. "This is our house, dude. We can do whatever we want."

"Yeah!" ST shouted in response.

"I know that, Deaf. That isn't the issue. The issue is the behavior of this family. Josh just got here and he must think we're all crazy!" Lull tucked a piece of his long hair behind his ear. "We're going to set a good example, and we're going to do it as a family."

Lull pulled a dry-erase weekly schedule out of nowhere and stuck it onto the fridge. He began pointing and reading off all of the dates.

"Today is Tuesday, which means we're going out to dinner as a family! Everyone go to their rooms, get dressed, and make sure you're ready to look like a real, civilized family."

\-----

A real, civilized family did not consist of eight 6'4 ginger men who, with the exception of Kyuss, were all over eighteen. Strangely enough, Kyuss seemed the most mature and composed of the group. Sure, he ate off the kid's menu and didn't know a thing about sex, but Josh was thankful for the presence of at least one sane member of this family. 

After an hour of arguing, the boys had finally decided on an Italian restaurant, one of the ones where you could get unlimited salad and breadsticks. Needless to say, unlimited still wasn't enough.

"Hey, Lull, check this out," Deaf chuckled, holding up a breadstick that he'd bent into the shape of a boomerang.

Lull took a sip of his wine and raised an eyebrow. "I know what you're thinking. And you're not gonna do-"

He had spoken too soon. Before he knew it, his wine glass had been shattered by an airborne breadstick. Red wine dripped down his hand.

R stood up. "Oh my God, are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Lull muttered. "Just... sit down."

"But you're bleeding!" R picked up one of the cloth napkins and began wrapping Lull's hand. Lull sighed and tied the napkin tighter around his wound. 

Josh glanced at Clockwork, who had been rubbing his finger across the rim of his glass. "That breadstick boomerang never came back, did it?"

Clockwork smirked. Josh had never seen that before. "Just wait," Clockwork replied, pointing to Deaf.

As if on cue, the breadstick flew back to him and directly into his face, knocking him out of his seat.

Josh snickered. "Holy shit. How did that happen?"

Clockwork just winked in response.

\-----

"I'm not taking any of you cretins anywhere," Lull groaned, slamming the door behind him. "I mean, I can understand some tomfoolery, but  _breadstick boomerangs?_ That's low even for you."

Deaf crossed his arms and let out a deep sigh. "You're seriously no fun."

Without saying a word, Lull walked back to his room. Josh could sense the man's pain; having raised three kids, he knew a thing or two about controlling the chaos.

"So, uh... I'm tired. Where am I supposed to sleep?" Josh asked to nobody in particular.

He saw Clockwork's eyes light up. "You could sleep in my room, if that's no problem."

Josh shrugged. He'd started to take a liking to Clockwork. He reminded him a lot of himself, minus the whole goth thing and the stupid fake accent. "I don't see why it would be."

\-----

Clockwork's coffin bed could fit two, so Josh decided to sit there until he felt tired enough to rest, then he'd slide under the blankets and sleep for a bit. As a self-proclaimed insomniac, Josh wondered what the others would be like at night. Surely enough, he knew they were all finding different ways of entertaining themselves when the lights went out. ST and R were definitely boning, Lull was probably reading, Deaf was practicing his guitar, and Era was playing video games. And little Kyuss? He was probably fast asleep and wearing the matching pajamas Lull had gotten for him, or maybe he was still figuring out the source of the mysterious neck bites. Josh checked his phone and looked over at Clockwork, who was writing poetry in his journal. Josh looked closer into the journal and saw that it wasn't a poem he was writing, it was a diary entry. 

"I don't mind you looking, Joshua," Clockwork said softly. "I'm just writing about my day."

"Nah, nah," Josh replied. "It's cool." He put his phone down on the side table and turned over in the bed.

"So," Clockwork said, turning out the lights and putting his journal down. "How are you liking it here?"

"I guess I can't complain. But how do you live with yourself?" Josh joked.

Clockwork chuckled a bit. "Today was just kind of tense... for them anyway." He shifted in the bed to face Josh. "For me, it was one of the best days I've had in a while. I've finally met somebody who understands me!"

Without hesitating, Clockwork leaned over and gave Josh a kiss on the forehead. Then, as if nothing had happened, he rolled back over in bed and went to sleep.

Josh touched his forehead lightly and furrowed his brow in confusion. He didn't know what had just happened, but all he knew was that he liked it. He felt himself inching his body closer to Clockwork, drawn to some part of him that he didn't quite know yet.

He woke up with his arms around Clockwork. As soon as he collected his bearings, he moved as close to the opposite edge of the bed as possible. This felt wrong. But the morality of the situation was escaping him.

Would it be cheating on your wife if you were dating a clone of yourself from four years ago? 

Josh tried to ignore the gay thoughts that were creeping in and instead occupied himself with breakfast. He knew Lull, being something of a responsible father, was planning something.

He couldn't have been more wrong. The only person in the kitchen was R, who was sitting at the table with his head down.

"What's up?" Josh asked, giving him a closer look. "...Anyone home?" He looked down at the table and saw a half-smoked blunt, and suddenly everything made sense. "Ah, the old spark-n'-sleep." Josh smirked. He remembered those nights where he couldn't get to sleep and decided to self-medicate himself with weed. He'd sleep like a baby afterwards.

Josh began pouring himself a bowl of cereal. The sound must have started R, who stood up and began walking towards Josh.

"Oh. You're up," Josh said as he looked in the fridge for some milk.

"How are you doing?" R asked.

Josh sat down with his cereal. R sat down near him. "I've been doing... alright, I guess."

"You don't look like it."

Josh was confused. "What do you mean?" He hadn't passed a mirror on his way to the kitchen, but maybe something was off. He probably had major bedhead at least.

"You seem worried." R put his elbows on the table and his head in his hands. "Tell me what's been bothering you."

 "Well..." Josh ran a finger through his hair. "Sharing a bed with Clockwork was... kinda alright, I guess. But I don't think I'm into him. But I might be. I just don't know how I feel."

"I was the same way when I met ST," R replied as he stood up and began walking to the coffeepot. "But, y'know, I never thought I was into dudes, either," he continued as he poured coffee into a mug and began drinking it black.

"But I'm not into dudes! At least, I don't think so!" Josh sighed. "But Clockwork... He's just so interesting. I want to talk to him about everything."

R sat back down at the table. "Then do it!" he replied. "I'll be rooting for you."

As if on cue, Clockwork walked into the kitchen. "Good morning, R. Good morning, Joshua." He leaned in and ruffled Josh's hair.

R looked up at Josh and winked. "Go get 'em," he whispered.

Josh gulped and stood up. He turned to Clockwork, who was searching the cupboards for a coffee mug.

Josh turned back to R, who was giving the okay sign with his hand as he chugged his coffee.

"Hey, Clockwork, uh... I wanted to ask you something?" Josh felt every muscle in his body tense up.  _Be cool,_ he told himself.  _This is just like talking in a mirror._

Clockwork found a mug and began pouring. "Yes?"

"Do you... want to go out at some point today?"

Clockwork turned around and smiled. "I'd love t-"

"Not like, go out with me like dating or whatever. I'm not gay or anything! I mean, if you're gay that's fine, but, like... Fuck." Josh rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Would you like to go do something today with me but in a platonic and totally heterosexual way," he finished through gritted teeth. Behind them, R was pumping his fists and silently cheering for Josh.

"I would love to, Joshua! That sounds great." Clockwork smiled wider and took a sip of his coffee. He slipped out of the kitchen, presumably back to his room to journal or something.

Josh let out a massive sigh of relief. Asking Clockwork to spend time with him hadn't been nearly as anxiety-inducing or traumatic as he'd made it out to be. He smiled a bit, imagining what kind of thing an intellectual nihilist like Clockwork would like to do. Maybe they'd be someplace relaxing, like a coffeeshop or an art museum.

\-----

The plans for the day had been split up among the boys. ST and R were going on a date, Kyuss and Era were going to the mall, Josh was taking Clockwork to a coffeeshop, and Deaf was going to the bar. Lull decided to stay at home and revel in the peace and quiet he had so rightfully earned.

He had an insanely long to-do list of things to get done around the house, but he was more concerned with enjoying the quiet and dull nature of the house, something that rarely occurred. Lull set his to-do list far from where he could see it and settled in for a long, relaxing nap.

\-----

"I don't understand why people think that  _velvet_ is making a comeback," Era scoffed, staring at a crop top in a mall store somewhere.

Kyuss raised an eyebrow. "What's wrong with velvet?" He reached an arm out to pet the fabric. "It's soft."

"And it looks horrible!" Era replied. He held the shirt up to his chest. "This would be so unflattering on me."

Era turned around suddenly, his eyes lit up. He held the shirt up to Kyuss' chest. "But it would be amazing on you!"

"Isn't this a girl's shirt? Like, it's made to fit a girl?" Kyuss asked.

Era stuck his tongue out inquisitively. Kyuss could see that he had a little piercing in the center of his tongue and began thinking of how much that must've hurt. The tongue has a ton of nerve endings, he thought to himself, and Era probably impaled all of them.

"I mean," Era began, putting the shirt back on the rack, "clothes don't really have a gender... Uh, how about we get you some new flannel shirts or something like that?"

Kyuss grinned and began walking into the mens' department, where a rack of identical plaid shirts faced him.

\-----

"What is it you like about me?" ST asked, tucking a long strand of hair behind his ear.

"You're just... really understanding," R replied, smiling. "I've never met anyone who understands me like you do."

ST leaned into his boyfriend's shoulder and beamed. "And you're understanding, too. 'Cause, like... I didn't even know what I was supposed to be doing until I met you, y'know?"

R rubbed his chin, pondering what ST could have meant by that. "Yeah, I know what you mean," he replied, lying through his teeth.

"And that's what I love about you," ST whispered.

"We should probably, uh, head out," R said nervously, putting the car into reverse. "People are gonna wonder what the hell we're doing in the Taco Bell parking lot."

ST slumped in his seat. "Yeah. We could get coffee or something..."

"Sure." R pulled out of the parking lot and headed back on the road. He'd already had his morning coffee, but a few more cups wouldn't hurt him. In fact, he had a theory. With his anxiety being so bad, and with caffeine being such an anxiety-inducing and addictive drug, he figured that his caffeine addiction was totally under control. Essentially, R had a feeling that if he drank enough cups of coffee, his anxiety would cancel itself out. Like PEMDAS or something, right? He'd never tested this theory, but the local coffeeshop had bottomless mugs and the darkest brew in California just waiting for him.

\-----

Deaf slammed his shot glass down on the bar, damn close to shattering it. "Another shot, please."

The bartender narrowed her eyes at him. Deaf loved this bartender: she was tall, curvy, and always made sure he had the best service possible. But she could be something of a bitch sometimes, and today was no exception. "Haven't you had enough, dude?"

"I don't tell you how to live your life," Deaf muttered, lighting a cigarette.

She chuckled a bit. "You're literally telling me to pour another shot for you. Also there's no smoking here."

Deaf got up from the barstool and tried to find his center of balance. "I guess that's my cue to leave." He slapped a twenty down on the counter and began walking - no, probably stumbling - towards the front door as if these were his first infant steps.

Deaf made it to his car somehow and turned the key in the ignition. Driving drunk was a bad idea, but he knew he wasn't drunk, just a little buzzed. He began fiddling with the radio, hoping to hear something good. He finally settled on a classic rock station that was playing Metallica. He maybe knew a handful of songs by them, but that didn't impact his enjoyment. He cranked it to maximum as he slipped onto the highway.

\-----

"Can I get a small coffee, with two shots of vanilla?" Josh asked, glancing up at the menu board of the coffeeshop. He'd never been to this one; it seemed a bit ritzier and more expensive than his usual fare. Clockwork had already found a seat and was writing poetry in a moleskine notebook that, in true Clockwork fashion, had a skull and crossbone sticker on the front.

Josh took his seat and waited to be called back for his coffee. He glanced at the massive coffee mug Clockwork had been cradling.

"Black coffee," Clockwork said softly. "My one true solace in a cruel, dark world."

Josh winked. "Black like your soul?"

"Yep."

The two shared a laugh. Clockwork took a sip of his coffee and kept scribbling in his notebook.

"Whatcha workin' on?" Josh asked, leaning over.

"Just a small poem," Clockwork replied. "It's strange, I don't know if I've ever written a happy poem. This would be my first one."

"That's just how it is sometimes," Josh remarked, walking back up the front counter to get his drink.

The bell at the top of the door jingled as two boys stepped in. As Josh walked back to his seat, he saw that it was ST and R. ST sat down on one of the couches and R walked over to Josh.

"I didn't know you were gonna, you know,  _go for it._ " R winked.

Josh rolled his eyes. "I don't know what you're talking about."

R gestured to Clockwork, who, thankfully, was distracted by his writing. R gestured back to Josh and made a movement with his fingers signalling a connection between the two men. "You'll thank me later," he said, sashaying over to the front counter to order his drink.

"I'll take the largest bottomless mug you guys have," Josh heard R announcing from the front. For a shy dude, he sure was loud. "I'm trying to test something."

Clockwork lifted his head up. "Oh, I didn't think they'd be here, too."

"Yeah, me neither," Josh groaned.

Clockwork put his book down and looked at Josh. "Something wrong?"

Josh sighed and sipped his drink. "What's-his-face - R - has been getting under my skin all day. He's trying to make me look stupid."

Clockwork smiled one of those little half-smiles he did. "Well, if it's any consolation, Joshua, I don't think you look stupid."

"Thanks, I guess."

Clockwork turned around and saw where ST and R were sitting. Of course, they were making out pretty aggressively, especially for a public space. ST had his hand up R's shirt. "If anything, he makes himself look stupid," Clockwork said, grinning.

Josh chuckled as he watched one of the baristas walk over to ST and R to berate them for their pretty explicit Public Display of Affection.

R stood up, trying to look distracted. "I, uh, think my coffee's ready." He gave ST a quick peck on the cheek and headed up to the counter, where a mug the size of his head was waiting.

Josh tried his best not to stare, but he couldn't believe his eyes. The stupidity was overwhelming. "What the hell is he gonna do with that?"

Clockwork drummed his fingers. "He's gonna try to see if drinking coffee will reduce anxiety."

"It literally does the exact opposite." Josh squinted. "What's wrong with him?"

"Oh, lots of things, but that's a story for another time," Clockwork replied. "Mainly, he's sort of an asshole."

"Yeah, I can tell."

They both turned back to the couch and continued watching ST and R being the way that they were: young and stupid. Josh knew what it was like back in his twenties, but even he knew that a public coffeeshop wasn't the place to put your hand up someone's shirt. The Taco Bell parking lot was a prime place for that sort of action.

"How's your poem going?" Josh asked, trying to divert his attention away from the lanky twenty-somethings who were practically having sex on the couch.

Clockwork bit the tip of his pen. "Well, I'm a little bit stumped here. What rhymes with 'sunny'?"

"'Honey'?" Josh asked. "That's a little... fruity though, don't you think?"

Clockwork scribbled more in his notebook. "Is that so bad, to be fruity once in a while?"

"I guess not." Josh took a sip of his coffee. It was pretty good, but it definitely wasn't worth the $7.45 he had forked over.

The sound of a coffee cup shattering on the floor started Clockwork, and he turned around. Josh looked, too, and he saw R, still sitting on that same couch and no longer holding his cup. ST seemed to be hovering behind him, his freckly hands on his boyfriend's shaking shoulders.

"What the fuck?" Josh asked under his breath.

Clockwork narrowed his eyes. "That appears to be the caffeine settling in for him."

"Explain, please?"

Clockwork grinned. "He vibrated too violently. Like a six-foot-tall chihuahua."

Josh chuckled at this comparison.

"So, with R, he's sort of an enigma," Clockwork began, circling his finger on the rim of his coffee mug. "He only likes two drugs: marijuana and caffeine. And you can tell."

"How can I tell?" Josh asked, genuinely interested.

"If he's stoned, he's relaxed. But if he has caffeine, he's... different." Clockwork turned around and looked at R, who had practically become a human earthquake. "One time, our blender was broken, so I asked him to hold a cup of fruit I wanted to blend and him shaking like that actually blended it all up! Can you believe it?"

Josh grinned and inched closer to Clockwork. "You're kidding me."

Clockwork shook his head. "It was mango puree in fifty seconds."

\-----

The sound of the front door slamming open scared Lull awake.

"What the-" Lull looked up and saw Deaf standing at the door, holding onto the doorframe to keep his balance.

"What's up?" Deaf asked, beginning to drunkenly stumble back to his room.

Lull straightened the pillows and blankets out on the couch. "Nothing, just got woke up. How was the bar?"

"It was SHIT!" Deaf screeched. "The bartender kept tryin' to tell me what to do and how to do it... I-I don't tell her how to do  _her_ job!!"

Lull furrowed his brow. "You literally ask for refills. That's her job."

"Shut the hell up," Deaf replied, shutting himself into his bedroom.

Lull shrugged and pulled the blanket back over himself, praying for no more nap interruptions.

\-----

With an armful of near-identical flannel shirts, Kyuss led Era to the checkout.

"I just don't understand fashion," Era sighed.

Kyuss shrugged. "This is 90s revival. It's grunge! I'm such a 90s kid!"

"You're like, twelve," Era muttered, pulling out a bedazzled credit card and swiping it. "But if it's your thing, who am I to judge?"

"Did you find everything okay today?" a ponytailed store clerk asked Era.

"I did," Era began, "but I'd like to know why your company prioritizes tacky fashion these days. Velvet is  _not_ going to sell, hon!"

The store clerk pretended to ignore Era as she stuffed the flannels into a bag.

"I demand to speak to your manager," Era announced, tapping his long nails on the counter.

"And why would that be, sir?" the clerk asked. Era noticed that the length of her eyeliner wing rivaled his.

"Because, clearly somebody needs to be taught how to run a successful business! I bought this kid here seven identical button-down shirts, and that seems to be this company's best source of income!" Era yelled, pointing to Kyuss, who was slowly walking out of the store.

"Can we please just go?" Kyuss asked. "I'm sick of this place!"

Era sighed. "I suppose." He began walking out with Kyuss, but stopped in his tracks to point dramatically to the sales clerk, who had quickly distracted herself with her next customer. "You, ma'am, are a victim of an unfortunate business that once thrived!"

"Just let it out," Kyuss said, patting Era's shoulders as they left the mall.

 

\-----

"It... didn't... work..." R groaned, face down on the coffeeshop's couch.

ST patted his back. "It's okay. You can try again next week."

R sat up, his dip-dyed bangs sticking straight up. "I'm sick of trying! Nothing is working!"

"Just try not being nervous," ST said, taking a sip of his chai tea.

R cocked an eyebrow. "Stop being nervous? _Stop being nervous?!_ Dude, that's like telling a dog to stop licking his balls! I'll stop being nervous when I  _die!_ " His eye twitched. "And thinking about dying makes me even  _more_ nervous!"

ST rolled his eyes. "Just trying to help."

R sighed and leaned his head on his boyfriend's shoulder. "I love you, pumpkin spice, but... Sometimes you say the dumbest shit."

"That's what I'm here for," ST replied. "Should we get outta here? I feel like we've caused enough of a scene."

\-----

After looking over Clockwork for what felt like hours, Josh finally let his shoulders drop.

"They're leaving," Josh sighed happily. "Thank God."

"Who?" Clockwork asked. He turned around to see ST and R leaving - holding hands, of course. "Yes, thank God."

Josh smiled a half-smile. "They're kind of a cute couple, in a weird, gross way, y'know?"

"They have their moments," Clockwork agreed, closing his notebook and passing it to Josh.

Josh began to open the book, but instantly slammed it shut. "Clock, I- I don't think it's right to read your personal stuff."

"I insist," Clockwork replied, passing the notebook closer.

Josh opened it and saw that the pen Clockwork had been using was bookmarking a specific page. "This one?" Josh asked, opening the book and beginning to read without a response.

_While the days in Cali are sunny_

_I've sat and lived glumly_

_A creature of darkness and a man of habit_

_But getting to know you has been sweet as honey_

_And I've never known a man so lovely_

_Joshua, a name sweeter than a rose_

_Knowing you was something that fate chose_

_My head has been in clouds so long_

_And meeting you was like a summer's song_

_My clock has stopped counting down_

_And now the minutes count up_

_Because with you by my side_

_All I feel is love._

Josh pulled his head up after he finished reading.

"Are you crying, Joshua?" Clockwork asked, retrieving the book.

Josh sniffed. "No, what you wrote just, uh, reminded me of... allergies I had. The paper triggered my allergies. Fuck."

"It's okay if you're crying. I'm flattered," Clockwork smiled. "But I feel like some of my rhymes need some work. Wouldn't you agree?"

"No, no!" Josh said suddenly. "It's perfect."  _Just like you,_ he added mentally.

He gave himself a quick kick in the shin to stop his gay thoughts. He was straight, goddammit! He had a wife back home. God, he missed her, but she had agreed to not interfere with Josh's current situation with these clones. He wished she hadn't, but that was just the way the cookie crumbled, and it wasn't like he could get her to fix anything. At least, not until the band had the fame and fortune he had longed for.


	2. Chapter 2

It was late, and Clockwork was fast asleep. Josh, however, sat upright on his side of the bed, unable to really sleep. He knew that if his head hit the pillow, it would do the trick, but he just didn't feel like it. He felt like getting up and doing something in this house, but the fear of waking the others kept him from actually getting up and moving around.

He stood up slowly, making as little noise as possible. He used the light on his phone to guide himself to Clockwork's door, where he meekly closed it and began walking slowly down the long, dark hallway.

Josh couldn't see the photos clearly, but he knew just from the few days he'd been here that Lull was, for lack of a better term, a family man. He liked to get photos of everyone taken as often as possible, or at least as much as he could over the past ten years. Josh had never really paid attention to these photos, though. He was just passing through on his way to one of the many rooms this hallway led to. Josh pulled out the flashlight and began looking at the photos casually.

Immediately, he noticed something strange on the first photo. There were seven people in the photo, but one of them had their face covered by a circular piece of black paper that had been not taped to the frame, but to the photo itself under the glass. Josh looked at the photo from all angles, trying to see if the paper curled up to obscure that mysterious stranger's face.

Josh scanned the photos and stopped at the photo labeled "2013". Clockwork was a new addition to this group, and he stood next to the anonymous person in the photo... and was  _smiling?_ That was rare and left Josh even more confused. If this person was so awful that their face had to be covered, why was Clockwork looking so happy?

The further Josh went down the line, however, the worse and worse Clockwork looked. By 2015, this stranger was officially out of the picture, and Clockwork was left, looking like a lonely shell of a man.

Josh put the flashlight down and sighed. He walked back to the bedroom, where he laid down next to Clockwork and tried to piece together what he thought he knew.

\-----

 

By some miraculous act of God, Lull was up bright and early in the kitchen. When Josh walked in, he smelled fresh bacon and pancakes. He reached for a plateful of bacon, but Lull smacked his hand with a spatula.

"Not yet," Lull said, flipping the pancake he'd been monitoring. "You've gotta wait your turn."

Josh rolled his eyes. "You don't have to talk to me like I'm five, dude."

"Wait your turn," Lull repeated. "Nobody else is even awake yet. Why are you up?"

Josh scratched his head. "Um... I kinda wanted to ask you something?"

"Yeah?"

"What's with those photos in the hall?"

Lull smiled. "Those are our family photos! I have a shoot for all of us in a week - welcome to the family!"

Josh drummed his fingers on the counter. "Thanks, but, like... what's with the person that's got their face blocked out?"

Lull smacked the spatula onto the counter. The noise echoed.

He turned around to face Josh. "Don't fucking mention that again." And as if nothing happened, he turned back to making pancakes.

Damn, whatever this mysterious person had done must have been pretty bad to conjure up  _that_ sort of response. Josh backed out of the kitchen and disappeared into Clockwork's room.

"Tell the others that breakfast will be ready soon!" Lull hollered. Josh pretended not to hear as he closed the bedroom door behind him.

To his surprise, Clockwork was sitting upright in his coffin bed, blanket still crowded around his long, slender legs. In his lap was a short-haired cat that he was petting.

Josh scratched his head and moved closer. "Since when do you have a cat?"

Clockwork smiled. "I've had Henry here for a while, actually. He was just feeling a bit shy before." He pulled the cat up to Josh's face. "Say hello, Henry!"

Josh petted the cat's head and sat down on the bed. "So, uh, Clockwork... I don't know how to ask this, but..."

"Yes?" Clockwork said, not turning his head away from the cat.

"Do you know... why all those photos in the hall have that one person covered?"

Josh looked down at Clockwork's hand, which had frozen in place. For a moment, Clockwork sat completely stiff before he turned to Josh, his smile leaving his lips. "I really... don't want to think about it. Sorry."

"Uh, that's okay. Sorry for asking."

Clockwork didn't respond.

Josh sighed.  _Great, I've pissed off the one person here I actually like being around._ He headed down the long hallway again, this time getting to see the photos fully illuminated. He took a closer look, yet still found no answers. He debated taking the photos off the walls and uncovering the faces himself, but who knew how time-consuming and delicate of an operation that was.

"Dude, what are you looking for?" a voice asked, startling Josh. He turned around and saw Deaf standing behind him, arms crossed. It was early morning, but he already had a lit cigarette hanging from his mouth.

"Um, uh..." Josh stuttered, trying to find something to satiate Deaf.

Deaf only pulled the cigarette from his mouth and chuckled. "Oh, I see what you're doing."

"Huh?"

"You wanna know about..." Deaf leaned in and whispered in Josh's ear, hot cigarette breath making his skin crawl. "... _Vulgaris._ "

"Vulgaris?" Josh repeated. The name was strange. It made him sound less like a person who actually existed and more of some theatrical cartoon villain.

Deaf touched a cigarette-flavored finger to Josh's lips. "I can't tell you anything if you don't keep your mouth shut."

Josh nodded in agreement as Deaf slowly retracted his arm.

"Now, after breakfast I can tell you anything. Everything you wanna know, man, I've got it up here." Deaf tapped the side of his head, which was probably hollow.

Josh thought for a minute. "I don't know if I want to know everything."

Deaf shrugged and began walking to the kitchen. "It's up to you, man."

The breakfast table held an awkward silence. Josh felt strange taking his usual seat next to Clockwork, especially after all that he had said.

Clockwork didn't eat. He didn't even look at Josh. He just sort of stood by the coffeepot, taking swigs from his coffin-shaped mug every so often. R stood by the coffeepot, too, but that was completely normal, and Josh didn't give a shit about that. Every time Clockwork's eyes met Josh's, however, they'd flit back to something else, whether it was the mug in his hands or the ceiling.

"So, uh, any exciting plans for today, guys?" Lull began, trying to ease the silent tension that he sensed.

ST ran a finger through his auburn hair. "I'm gonna smoke a bowl."

"Like hell you're not," Lull replied.

"Smoking a bowl?" Kyuss asked to nobody in particular. "I thought you used bowls for cereal..."

ST laughed, then sighed. "I mean, d'you need me to do something today, Lull? 'Cause I've got, like, no plans. At least I don't think so."

"Yeah. You can take Kyuss out to practice driving," Lull told him.

"Ugh." ST slumped in his chair. "Why me?"

"Oh, I don't know." Lull shrugged and took a sip of his coffee. "You're the closest in age to him. And you seem to get along."

Kyuss smiled and leaned over to hug ST around the waist. "I'm so excited!"

ST leaned over to awkwardly hug him back. "God, me too," he said through gritted teeth, giving Lull a death glare.

Clockwork dumped the rest of his coffee down the drain and walked back to his room silently. Josh glared at him. If he was denying coffee, then something really was wrong. Josh decided to follow Clockwork to apologize to him. It seemed like a good idea in theory, right?

Josh shut the door behind him. "Hey, uh, Clockwork, about that, uh... I'm sorry. For what I said earlier."

"Just leave me alone, please," Clockwork said softly, back turned to Josh.

Josh sighed. "Alright. I'm just gonna grab my clothes in here and go." He grabbed the wad of clothes he'd dropped by the bed.

"Oh, and Joshua?" Clockwork began.

Josh's ears perked up. "Yeah?"

"Make sure to close the door when you leave."

Josh's shoulders dropped. "Sure."

\-----

"So, one essential step to driving is maintaining a consistent speed," ST began, gripping the bar above his window with white knuckles. "And you need some help with that."

Kyuss slammed on the brakes at a stoplight, lurching his body forward in the driver's seat. "What do you mean?"

"Y'know those signs you pass? With the numbers and shit?" ST asked.

"Yeah?"

"That's how fast you need to be going."

"But what if I wanna go faster?" Kyuss asked, removing his foot from the brake.

ST sighed. "You can't."

"Yeah, I can, actually. This car can go pretty fast."

" _But you're not supposed to!_ " ST yelled.

Kyuss gulped. "Sorry."

ST crossed one of his legs. "It's okay. It's just... you don't wanna get pulled over, do you? You don't even have a learner's permit yet, dude!"

"Okay," Kyuss said softly. "Why don't we turn on the radio or something?"

ST sighed. He doubted that Kyuss liked any decent radio stations, but it was worth a shot. "Sure."

" _Because the drugs never work... They're gonna give you a smirk... 'cause they got methods of keepin' you cleeeean..._ " ST heard from the radio. Kyuss turned it up and ST leaned in closer. He looked up and saw Kyuss... nodding? on the beat?  _God, maybe this kid isn't as bad as I thought,_ ST thought.

"They said all teenagers scare the living shit out of me!" ST yelled.

"They could care less, as long as someone'll bleed!" Kyuss finished.

"So darken your clothes..."

"And strike a vi-o-lent pose..."

" _Maybe they'll leave you alone, but not meeee!"_   the two boys finished, off-key and erupted in laughter.

"No way!" ST said between giggles. "You  _like_ these guys?"

"I love them!" Kyuss replied, sliding perfectly into a turn lane. "Dad doesn't like me listening to them much, though. Don't tell him I have this CD."

"I won't," ST replied, winking. "But... Dad? You call him Dad?"

"Is there an issue with that? He's kinda like my dad."

ST thought for a minute. Lull was always Lull to him, never a father figure. Lull was someone who took in ST and R when they got kicked out of their first apartment. Lull was someone who could be sort of overbearing, but was always there for them. In a way, he was a father.

"Nah, I don't see a problem with that." ST smiled. "Damn, you've been driving really well!"

"Thanks! Music helps me focus."

ST pulled a cigarette from his pocket and looked at it for a bit. He decided not to smoke it, and stuffed it back in. Instead, he made conversation with Kyuss, this kid he barely knew. "So, when I was your age, My Chemical Romance was still around."

"You're kidding," Kyuss said.

ST shook his head. "Nah, man, they were still touring and shit! It was awesome. I never got to see them, but I loved them. And Paramore. Oh man, Paramore was my favorite."

Kyuss beamed. "They're really good too!"

ST stuck his tongue between the gap in his teeth, which he had fixed a few years ago. Growing up, it felt massive - he could probably stick a pencil in his teeth if he tried. But now that he was an adult, he shelled out money to fix one of his biggest insecurities. As a teen, however, he did nothing but wait until he could afford something, anything, to stick his two front teeth closer to each other. But the one thing that kept him afloat and partially confident was Paramore. Their lead singer had a really similar gap. ST aspired to be as relaxed with his situation as she was.

Now only if he could surgically alter his height.

ST sat up the rest of the car ride to make himself feel taller.


	3. Chapter 3

"You wanna know everything, huh?" Deaf asked. He pulled the cigarette from his teeth and ashed it into the palm of his hand.

Josh raised an eyebrow, disgusted but also somewhat amused by this odd behavior. "I mean, like I said before, I don't know if everything needs to be said, y'know? Clockwork did seem pretty upset, so maybe, uh... some things can be left unsaid?"

Deaf just glared at Josh in response.

"I guess you can start from the beginning," Josh muttered, crossing his legs.

Deaf smirked and brushed a loose strand of spiky hair from his face. "It was the beginning of 2013..."

 -----

_January 2013. A breezy California day lay ahead of the poet. The emerging sun greeted him as he arose from his bed._

_Life was excellent. The consistently nice weather encouraged him outside more. He'd walk from place to place, long black cape brushing along his ankles. The attire made him look as if he was in a constant state of mourning, but it was the opposite. He was quite happy, and going outside was a source of solace for him. He could study trees and write poetry, people-watch and sketch, drink coffee and read. He always had something to do._

_On his way out, he greeted the man that he referred to as "Lull" due to his talent for composing soft, lullaby-type music. Lull was 6'4 and built like a tank, but was the sweetest, most fatherly person the man had ever met. He had an adopted son by the name of "Kyuss", and give or take a few freckles, Kyuss could have been related to his adoptive father. The man grabbed his cape, waved a goodbye, and stepped out the front door._

_Today was like any other day, but any other day was good. He would walk around for a bit and look for inspiration. Inspiration, he found, would often be lurking in dark corners where others dared not step. Although he was happy, he had an affinity for looking to the dark side. Things that often unnerved people, such as skeletons, taxidermy, and death made the man feel something inside. Art was meant to disturb the comfortable and comfort the disturbed, and he considered himself both._

_As he walked, people would stare. He didn't mind one bit; he was a strange man. Standing at six feet six inches tall, in a beat-up pair of Doc Martens, Victorian-era clothes, a massive cape, and short red hair, he was quite the exhibit. He liked to surprise people by being kind and charming. Nobody would expect this quiet, goth man to ever laugh with children or feed birds at the park, but those were things that made him even happier._

_He stepped through the doors of his favorite coffeeshop. The aroma of coffee beans welcomed him. He stepped up to the counter and ordered his usual: a tall black coffee with just the tiniest sprinkling of sugar. He took his seat and began writing something down in his journal, surely something about the environment or its people._

_"May I sit here?" a husky voice interrupted._

_The man put down his pen and smiled a bit. "I don't mind."_

_The husky-voiced man sat down. His outfit was a spectacle, too - a vintage black sweater underneath a giant army-green jacket; a pair of off-black skinny jeans, and boots similar to the man's. His hair was half-spiked, half falling into his eyes, and black as night._

_"Pleased to meet you." He stuck his hand out for the man to shake, his black-painted nails glistening. "You can call me Vulgaris."_

_"I'm Clockwork," the man replied._

_Vulgaris smiled and leaned back a bit in his chair. "So, what do you usually order here?"_

_"Black coffee," Clockwork replied._

_"Hm. You seem like the type to enjoy that sort of thing."_

_Clockwork raised a thin eyebrow. "What do you mean by that?"_

_"You know, you've got this whole goth thing going on. Tortured, starving artist? It's uh..." Vulgaris felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. "...kinda sexy, actually." Immediately, he threw his hands over his mouth. "I'm sorry, uh, that was uncalled for."_

_Clockwork chuckled. "Sexy?" he repeated._

_Vulgaris nodded. "I mean, if you're into that kinda thing?"_

_"Black coffee for... Cluckwork?" the barista called out._

_Clockwork blushed and stood up to get his drink. When he came back, Vulgaris was laughing softly._

_"They got your name wrong," Vulgaris muttered as he stood up to order. "Can't wait to hear them butcher mine."_

_Inspiration had struck. Clockwork began writing away._

_\-----_

"Holy shit," Josh interrupted.

Deaf nodded, smiling. "Wait, it gets worse."

"No, I meant... how do you know so much about this?"

Deaf shrugged. "Oh, I have my ways."

"Those ways being?"

"J-just shut up and let me get to the point."

\-----

_"It was really nice meeting you this afternoon," Vulgaris said, walking out of the coffeeshop with Clockwork._

_"I agree. We should meet again soon!"_

_Vulgaris pulled a pen from his pocket and grabbed Clockwork's notebook._

_"Hey, what're you -"_

_Vulgaris scribbled away onto a page and handed it back. "Chill, dude. I was just giving you my number."_

_Clockwork chuckled. "Oh, sorry. I'm just really protective of my poems. They're really personal to me."_

_"I completely understand. You've made a good choice using a moleskine notebook, though. Top tier." Vulgaris flashed an "okay" sign with his thumb and forefinger._

_The two continued walking for a bit, until Vulgaris stopped._

_"Shit. Do you have a watch?" he asked._

_Clockwork nodded and looked down at his brooch, which was a working analog clock designed to look like something Victorian. "It's a quarter to thr-"_

_V_ u _lgaris looked over and gasped at the device. "How did you do that?"_

_Clockwork gestured to the brooch. "This?"_

_"Yeah, yeah! That's super cool! But if it's that late, I've gotta head to work soon!" Vulgaris began dashing off, but not before shouting "Call me!" into the distance._

_Clockwork smiled and continued walking along the trail. Today had been even better than he'd hoped for._

_\-----_

"Tell me something," Kyuss began, digging a straw into his smoothie. "What's it like being, uh..." He looked around and whispered the last part. "... _gay?_ "

ST chuckled. "Well, it's difficult sometimes. Not a lot of people are really okay with it. Especially in this day and age."

"But why wouldn't they be?"

ST looked down the straw of his smoothie. "People are strange. They think that what I do with my boyfriend is a public affair or a testimony of how bad our generation is. I didn't ask to be gay, but finding someone who loves me makes it a lot better."

"But didn't you date girls before?" Kyuss asked.

"Oh, of course. But none of them were serious. They were all hookers. And it was all one-night stands. I was innocent and desperate and I thought things would last. Nothing is forever, except for STDs." ST sighed. "Kid, when you're in college, you can't blow all your money on cocaine and women who will betray you. Spend it on condoms instead."

"Noted."

"Anyway, great job driving today. You're a lot better than I was at sixteen." ST held out his fist for a fist bump, and Kyuss obliged.

"Thanks! And I still can't believe that all the music I like now was what you sort of grew up with."

ST smirked. "Listen, if you need to know anything about emo music or having a boyfriend, I'm your guy."

\-----

"Now you've got me interested. But when does the bad stuff actually happen?" Josh asked.

Deaf rolled his eyes. "You've gotta wait. God, you're like a little kid sometimes."

"I said I didn't want to hear  _everything._ Just skip to the good parts."

Deaf sighed. "Alright."

\-----

_The first dates were usually the most anxiety-inducing, but thanks to persistent hangouts and phone calls, Clockwork and Vulgaris were as good as gold._

_Vulgaris drove them to a middle-class fancy restaurant and fidgeted with his tie the entire ride there._

_"Everything alright?" Clockwork asked._

_"You're just so damn cute," Vulgaris replied softly, removing his hand from his tie to Clockwork's jawline. The iciness of his fingertips gave Clockwork a chill._

_Red wine and a few breadsticks began the night._

_"So, did you bring your notebook?" Vulgaris asked._

_"No," Clockwork replied, grabbing a breadstick from the basket._

_"Why not?"_

_"Oh. I... didn't think it was necessary."_

_Vulgaris scoffed. "I'm surprised by that. You always carry it around. The thing is practically glued to your side."  
_

_"What's wrong?" Clockwork asked. "Why is this such an issue right now?"_

_Vulgaris didn't reply. He took another sip of wine instead._

_Clockwork raised his eyebrows. "It's the wine, isn't it? That's your third glass tonight, and the food hasn't even arrived!"_

_Another sip was the response._

_"You seem frustrated," Clockwork sighed._

_"I'm sorry." Vulgaris held his head in his hands. "I'm just having a bad night."_

_"Why are you having a bad night? You're here with me, which is what you wanted, right?"_

_"I suppose..."_

_Clockwork thought back to the drive to the restaurant. Vulgaris hadn't seemed himself. His nervous fidgeting and his unstable hands were worrisome. Clockwork finally came to the conclusion that Vulgaris had been drunk before they even left. He didn't want to make himself seem foolish by mentioning it, though. That would ruin this first date with the man he liked._

_"Excuse me," Vulgaris said suddenly, standing up. His legs shook a bit as he straightened out his torso. He darted off to the bathroom._

_As if on cue, Clockwork's cell phone buzzed in his pocket. He unflipped the phone and saw a text from Lull._

**_How's the date going?_ ** _the text read._

_Clockwork began typing. **I think he was drunk before we even got here.**_

_**Bit worrisome,** Lull responded.  **Call me if anything bad happens.**_

_"Who texted you?" Vulgaris asked, returning to the table._

_"Uh, nobody." Clockwork stuffed the phone back into his pocket._

_Vulgaris raised an eyebrow, but turned back to drinking his wine again. He cracked a breadstick in half and dipped it in._ _Clockwork glared at that oddity, but decided not to say anything. People could be strange sometimes._

\-----

_"So, I wanted to give you something," Vulgaris began, leading Clockwork to the car after dinner. As if it were magically, he was practically sober. Maybe eating something had helped._

_"I'm intrigued," Clockwork responded._

_Vulgaris pulled Clockwork's body closer into a hug. Clockwork felt his arms go stiff, unsure of what to do. He eventually found himself hugging back._

_Swiftly, Vulgaris began to kiss Clockwork. This moment could have lasted forever. The warm feeling of his lips made Clockwork feel as if he was under a spell, entranced by this man. Clockwork felt like he was loved, like he was important to somebody other than the people he lived with. It was unlike anything he'd ever known before._

_After what felt like an hour, the two separated their lips. "I had a lovely night," Vulgaris said, starting the car._

_Clockwork smiled. "So did I."_


	4. Chapter 4

_"How did the first date go?"  Kyuss asked, greeting Clockwork at the door._

_"It went pretty well," Clockwork replied. He passed Kyuss his coat. "Thanks for asking."_

_"Don't tell Dad that I'm up past my bedtime," Kyuss said, opening the coat closet and grasping for a hanger. "I'll be asleep soon."_

_Clockwork winked. "Your secret's safe with me."_

_He slipped down the hall to his bedroom. It was something of a makeshift studio - he hung his artwork along the walls and had begun painting portions of the wall as well. Additionally, his bed was a large coffin that he constructed and painted himself. It probably wouldn't end up being the real thing, but the idea of sleeping in a coffin was so cool to him yet disturbing to others. He didn't understand why; it seemed like the morbid equivalent to a race car bed._

_Clockwork reached for his moleskine notebook and began writing. While his date had encountered a rough patch, the rest of the night went swimmingly. He scribbled an entry until he eventually fell asleep, pen slipping from his fingers._

_\-----_

  _Clockwork awoke to the sound of his cell phone vibrating against the nightstand. Eyes still shut, he reached for the device to see who could be trying to get his attention at such an hour._

_He felt like he was prying his eyes open to read the message. It was from some unsaved number, and the outside screen of Clockwork's phone read "6:21 AM". Who could be texting him at a time like this?_

**_Good morning, Clockwork <3,_ ** _the message read._

_Then he remembered. He had exchanged numbers with Vulgaris. God, it felt like ages ago when they had first met. Their date went pretty decently, but Clockwork was still on the fence. He had never been in a serious relationship, let alone with another man._

_But something about Vulgaris struck Clockwork in a strange way. It had to be those rugged, gothic features - pale skin, sunken cheekbones, black hair. His attractiveness felt like a personal attack, a stab to the heart. Clockwork didn't know what to expect from people, and maybe thinking that Vulgaris was some sort of drunken mess was nothing but a simple mistake. He decided to text back, saving the number in his phone's contacts._

**_morning,_**   _Clockwork replied. **bit early, don't u think?**_

**_You know what they say. The early bird gets the worm,_** _V_ _ulgaris replied almost instantly._

_**yr bringing me worms? how romantic,**  Clockwork typed._

_A few minutes passed before Vulgaris finally responded. **Just meet me at the park in 5. Bring your sweet lips.**_

\-----

Josh slammed his hands down on the table in annoyance. "You transcribed their text messages?"

Deaf scoffed. "Who the hell do you think I am? It's called taking artistic liberties."

"But where's this deep-rooted trauma? What am I even expecting to happen?" Josh asked, feeling hopeless. Maybe he could just leave and fill in all the gaps himself, or make his own conclusions about Vulgaris. He began to stand up, but Deaf stopped him.

"Fine. I'll condense this for you, okay? I'll give you a story that your little brain can focus on, Josh. Just be patient."

\------

_The air was still somewhat cold, light dew still hanging from the blades of grass. Clockwork took note of this and kept his cloak closer to his body as he walked. Where was he even supposed to meet Vulgaris? He stopped by a park bench and began looking around._

_Clockwork felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He pulled it out and read a message from Vulgaris that simply read: **Look behind you.** He did as he was told, and surely enough, Vulgaris was in fact behind him._

_"It's so nice to see you again!" Vulgaris said, throwing his arms around Clockwork. Clockwork felt himself tense up a bit, but after a while, his muscles relaxed and he hugged the man back._

_"So how was your night?" Vulgaris asked, punctuating his sentence with a kiss on the cheek._

_Clockwork shrugged and moved over, allowing Vulgaris to take a seat. "It was pretty nice. I slept well, which is kind of rare for a night owl like me."_

_Vulgaris inched closer. "I wish we'd slept in the same bed last night," he said suddenly._

_Clockwork felt his face turning red. "Yes, that would've been... nice." He glanced down at his brooch. "I should, uh, probably head to work soon..." He trailed off, trying to conjure up a lie._

_Vulgaris raised his eyebrows. "Ah,  a working man!"_

_"Y-yes, I've gotta head home and g-"_

_"And where exactly do you work? I'd like to pop in and say hello from time to time," Vulgaris continued._

_"Uh, the record store on Main." Clockwork gulped._

_"Oh, that's pretty close! Let me drop you off."_

_Clockwork stood up hesitantly. "I d-don't think that's-"_

_Vulgaris stood up as well, and extended his body forward in a bowing motion. "No, I insist! Chivalry is still alive and well!"_

_And without saying another word, he was gone, racing towards the parking lot on the other end of the park._


End file.
